connecting with my autistic son and developing the love I thought would never happen

There is nothing that I have wanted more than to feel loved by my 8-year-old son. Unfortunately, he just didn’t want to love me and nothing I tried made any difference. I was on the verge of accepting that we would never have a loving relationship when everything changed.

For years we have struggled to connect as love is something he measures and he routinely told me that he didn't love me. He loved his Dad, but not me. It hurt, and I feared that we would never have a bond. Even worse, he wanted nothing to do with me and insisted that I didn’t go near him or do anything for him. If I brushed past him, he would physically recoil and try to brush off my touch.

I was an unwanted presence in the house. The person he wanted to come into the house via the back door, so he knew to be excited when Dad got home. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do anything right and I couldn't win him over. Everything that went wrong was my fault, and the praise for anything that I did right was attributed to Dad.

We were always at odds with each other, and I would routinely end up shouting at him in frustration when he refused to listen to me. I sometimes wondered if it would be better if I wasn't in the house, as I worried that my own behaviour was having a negative effect on my kids. Parenting was anything but a positive experience and the lack of love was not bringing out the best in me. I was an angry parent, and my guilt about not having a bond with my son was all consuming. What kind of mum doesn't connect with their son?

Then we found Pokemon. Or to be more accurate, I found Pokemon.
when the uncertainty of holidays for my autistic son threatens to spoil the fun

EuroDisney. The place of childhood dreams,  and the destination for our next family holiday. With just over a week to go, I should be excited. The problem is that I can't stop thinking about our last holiday, and wonder if we are destined to face the same struggles this year.

Our last holiday promised to be a great family break. We found a good deal at a hotel in Banff in Canada. It looked like a castle and the family were excited about the prospect of skiing. We had prepared the children for what to expect and made sure that we took plenty of their favourite toys to play with while we were out there for the week.Unfortunately, the trip was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Welcome to my new Neurodiversity notions linky, where you can share and read posts relating to neurodiversity in educational settings and workplaces. This includes Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyscalculia, Autism, Bipolar, OCD, Tourette Syndrome, and others.

On the first Thursday of each month I will post a new linky asking for people to share any posts relevant to embracing neurodiversity in educational settings and workplaces. I hope it will become the desitination for posts on strategies, challenges, thoughts and advice relevant to supporting neurodiverse needs and establishing cultures which embrace the benefits of neurodiversity.

For those who have not heard of a linky before, it is a way for bloggers to collectively share blog posts on a common topic. It is a great way for fellow bloggers to share their own posts, and for my lovely readers to discover new posts.

Each month I will share one of my own posts and will choose a favourite post from the month before, which I will also share on my Facebook page, twitter feed and pinterest page.

This month, I am sharing my post on the change that I want to make for neurodiversity in 2018. Hopefully this linky will help bring about the changes I hope to see.

I look foward to reading your posts, so please feel free to share your posts (old or new). If you have any questions, please contact me.

The rules

  1. The linky will open on the first Thursday of each month, and will remain open until the last day of the month
  2. You can link up to two posts each month.
  3. Please comment on my host post and at least one other post, including #NeurodiversityNotions in the comments. 
  4. Share your posts on instagram, twitter and pinterest with the hashtag #NeurodiversityNotions. I will reshare items where you mention me (@LifeAndASC).
  5. Include the linky badge in your post, by copying any pasting the html below into the bottom of your post
  6. Please be kind and respectful of each other. If you do disagree with someone, please be considerate in your response. Change can only become reality when we find a way to positively work through our differences. 

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